We're back! Tonight we crown the king or queen of the ballroom and I think there are all sorts of surprises in store. ABC already messed me up by re-airing last night's show at 8. But it's finally time for the coveted mirror ball trophy to be presented to the champions of season 10. Disclaimer: I'm not afraid to fast forward through results shows - even if it is the grand finale. Let's go!
9:08 - This countdown montage is intense. Way to turn up the drama DWTS.
9:09 - The opening credits aka the reminder of all of the terrible celebrities we are going to see dance again tonight. You know who I'm talking about.
9:10 - Oh this is new. A group dance with all of the couples who got voted off. Oh but wait it's only the pros who are actually dancing. Shoot I am very okay with that though.
9:11 - Wow, Kate Gosselin just cannot get any more awkward can she? No wait. I hear that she is going to "fly" tonight or something so yes, yes I think she can.
9:12 - Why is Ochocinco not dancing? Oh he was injured actually playing football. Thanks Tom Bergeron. Meanwhile, they just showed about 40 former contestants in the audience. Worst bonus question ever for the fantasy league.
9:13 - Brooke Burke's dress is hideous. I mean really bad. Meanwhile isn't there some crew member that can tell the audience to simmer down?
9:14 - Nicole and Derek are up first and they are dancing their Argentine Tango. Nicole and Derek's was SICK. Seriously the best dance of the entire season.
9:16 - Loved it. How am I supposed to live without Bruno screaming words like rich and luscious at me once a week for the next three months?
9:20 - I'm still trying to furnish my new apartment and I think a mirror ball trophy is just what I need. Don't you think?
9:21 - Evan and Anna are also doing their Argentine Tango. I'm sensing a pattern.
9:25 - Evan! Crack a smile! You're getting good reviews!
9:27 - Oh wow what a shocker. Erin and Maks are also dancing the Argentine Tango. And wow they are really going at each other this week. That got a little old this season, not gonna lie. The least Erin could do was imitate his Russian accent so that I can give the fantasy league five more points.
9:31 - Attention fantasy league if any of you are actually reading this. They keep showing that row with Shawn Johnson and Apolo Ohno but I am only counting them ONCE as prior contestants shown in the audience.
9:33 - Oh my gosh here it is. The moment of truth. Erin and Maks in 3rd, Evan and Anna in 2nd, Nicole and Derek in 1st after the Argentine Tango round. "Soon we will reveal who is just one. dance. shy. of the trophy." Thanks Brooke for stumbling through that.
9:36 - So now we are going to factor in the judge's scores with the fans votes. Those will also be revealed. Tonight is all about the reveal.
9:38 - Oh good another montage of the season's best moments.
9:40 - Oh apparently it's only a montage of the first three weeks. AKA an intro to the worst of the season. I really missed watching Mark Ballas.
9:41. What. Just. Happened. I think Buzz Aldrin was just beamed down from the sky. I need to rewind this.
9:42 - My dad's text message to me just now: Buzz stinks.
9:43 - Okay I can't take it anymore. I have to pause to watch Glee so that my DVR can catch up and I can fast forward through all of these "incredible performances". We'll be back.
10:33 - Okay did you guys know that this show was 2 hours tonight??? I did not get that memo. I can't hang anymore. It's time to talk on the phone and go to bed. In the morning maybe I will try to finish. I'm sorry that the live blog is only half a live blog. But what the heck ABC. Do we really need two hours? Plus I forgot my computer battery at work and my laptop is at 33% right now so even my computer can't hang.
Congrats to the winner. I'm sure I'll read all about it in the AM.