The Terrible TV Idea Award
And the winner is: FOX
Accepting this award on behalf of Fox is a "source" from American Idol
"We are so thrilled to be receiving this award! I am really glad that I was able to start this rumor about Howard Stern coming to Idol to replace Simon. FOX would like to thank Simon first and foremost for setting the bar on Idol and for making of all of rush to find the first loose canon we can to be our next "judge". Of course we have to thank Howard Stern who would be the perfect meanie to replace Simon and who has no musical talent whatsoever. And finally we'd like to thank the American Idol execs who think that the angle Idol needs is to find the first person we can who will clash with all the judges and contestants with the first sarcastic comment they can think of. We're so excited to continue doing what we can to make sure that Idol absolutely fails after Simon leaves. Thanks again!"
Accepting this award are the gossip magazine columnists who continue to insist that there is some kind of war waging between these two.
"This is truly an honor. We have worked tirelessly ever since Angelina and Brad first got together scrutinizing every tiny detail we could to make it seem like Angelina and Jen Aniston just can't stand each other so this just means so much to us. It hasn't been easy. I mean we have had to twist every tiny fact that we can find to make it seem like Angelina is always going to beat Jen Aniston. We'd like to thank Vanity Fair for compiling this "Hollywood's Top 40" list which showed nothing more than the fact that Angelina made only $1 million more than Jennifer Aniston and thereby allowing us to twist that into an entire article where we can prove yet again that Jennifer Aniston's life is oh so sad without Brad Pitt in it. We'd also like to thank Jennifer Aniston herself for making a paltry $20 million last year and of course Angelina Jolie for raking in $21 million. Without them we never would have been able to spin this story to launch yet another fake battle between these two!"
"This is truly an honor. We have worked tirelessly ever since Angelina and Brad first got together scrutinizing every tiny detail we could to make it seem like Angelina and Jen Aniston just can't stand each other so this just means so much to us. It hasn't been easy. I mean we have had to twist every tiny fact that we can find to make it seem like Angelina is always going to beat Jen Aniston. We'd like to thank Vanity Fair for compiling this "Hollywood's Top 40" list which showed nothing more than the fact that Angelina made only $1 million more than Jennifer Aniston and thereby allowing us to twist that into an entire article where we can prove yet again that Jennifer Aniston's life is oh so sad without Brad Pitt in it. We'd also like to thank Jennifer Aniston herself for making a paltry $20 million last year and of course Angelina Jolie for raking in $21 million. Without them we never would have been able to spin this story to launch yet another fake battle between these two!"
Accepting this award is Lauren herself who continues to try and "explain" how terrible life on The Hills really was.
"Wow. This is just so unexpected. I'd of course like to thank MTV for giving me my start even though all I've done since joining the show is complain about how it's ruined my life. I'd like to thank all of my castmates on The Hills, especially Heidi for moving the spotlight onto themselves since I left the show so that people hardly ever talk about me anymore. But most of all I'd like to thank myself for continuing to go on and on about how terrible it was for me to be a part of a show that put me on the map of "fame". Without me, I never would have been able to talk about how terrible it was to get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars and gain the ability to launch a clothing line and write a best-selling book that is about to be turned into a movie just by letting some cameras follow me around."
"Wow. This is just so unexpected. I'd of course like to thank MTV for giving me my start even though all I've done since joining the show is complain about how it's ruined my life. I'd like to thank all of my castmates on The Hills, especially Heidi for moving the spotlight onto themselves since I left the show so that people hardly ever talk about me anymore. But most of all I'd like to thank myself for continuing to go on and on about how terrible it was for me to be a part of a show that put me on the map of "fame". Without me, I never would have been able to talk about how terrible it was to get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars and gain the ability to launch a clothing line and write a best-selling book that is about to be turned into a movie just by letting some cameras follow me around."
The Celeb Breakup No One Cares About Award
And the winner is: Britney Spears' sister and her baby daddy
Accepting this award is Britney Spears' mom who always seems to have just the right thing to say.
"Oh my gosh y'all. I can't believe my little girl won this award. We have done so much to keep both her and Britney in the news but si
nce Britney's kinda normal again and isn't making as many headlines, it was time to do something ya know? So I'm really glad that my little girl could put our family back in the spotlight for another week or two. We hit the jackpot when she had her baby at 16 but nobody's really talked about her since then you know so we thought what better way than to have her breakup with her baby's daddy and also start going out with another guy, who is about 10 years older than her might I add. Anyway we're just so glad that our family made the gossip columns again so thanks y'all!"
And the winner is: former "Dancing with the Stars" giant Warren Sapp
Warren Sapp was unfortunately detained - literally - tonight and cannot be here to accept his award.
Warren Sapp was unfortunately detained - literally - tonight and cannot be here to accept his award.
That's all for this week ladies and gentlemen!
