Grammys Live Blog

We're back with another live blog and this time we are heading to the Grammys. Once again, we'll see how long we last but I feel like this will hold my interest for a lot longer than some of the other award shows.

Here are some early predictions:
- Taylor Swift, Beyonce and Lady Gaga will have big nights
- The "Avatar-like" Michael Jackson tribute will be weird. Why is this necessary? The "Avatar" element, not the Michael Jackson tribute.
- I think Steven Colbert is hosting and, if so, he will be hilarious.

Let's go!

7:00 - I have my wine and my little frozen lasagna dinner complete with Texas Toast. If you have not tried Texas Toast, you should do so immediately.

7:02 - Lady Gaga opens the show with a performance. She is in a green sequined unitard and they just put her into some sort of cauldron. Some guy keeps yelling she's a monster. And she comes out sitting at a piano with Elton John and the piano has arms coming out of it. She is a weirdo but let me tell you she is a legit musician.

7:07 - Taylor Swift looks beeeeeeautiful.

7:11 - Stephen Colbert's opening monologue is just okay except then he goes to to announce the nominees for Song of the Year and can't find the list. Then he pulls an iPad out of his jacket and asks Jay Z "You didn't get one of these in your gift bag?" That one was good.

7:12 - "Single Ladies" wins Song of the Year. That seems fitting to me considering how many people decided to learn the "Single Ladies Dance".

7:14 - Jennifer Lopez tells us that there is a show about to hit Broadway called "American Idiot" and I'm pretty sure it somehow involves Green Day songs. What? Come on Broadway. So now we're watching the cast of this show and Green Day perform together. It's time like these that I wish I had a DVR again.

7:18 - While waiting for this performance to be over, I mean listening, I Wikipedia-ed this American Idiot Broadway play. So apparently there is some sort of storyline that runs throughout the American Idiot album and they've taken that and turned it into a Broadway production. Still weird.

7:22 - Taylor Swift has eight nominations tonight. Beyonce is going to perform in nine minutes. Also the Michael Jackson tribute will feature Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Smokey Robinson and Usher among others. I love Usher. He is the original Chris Brown/Ne-Yo.

7:24 - Kristin Bell just said that Bon Jovi is performing on the Grammys for the first time ever tonight. We get to vote on which song they'll sing. Apparently Bon Jovi is that good that we can just tell them oh hey sing this one 20 minutes before they're supposed to go on and they'll get it done.

7:25 - Taylor Swift wins her first Grammy of the night. Cue completely shocked face. Also she is like 6-3. Aaaand I take back what I said about her dress being beautiful. But I still like her, especially after she said she wrote every song on her album. That is real talent. Great speech too.

7:27 - I guess having the show on your station lets CBS use stars from their own crappy TV shows to present. And now...Beyonce.

7:29 - Aaaand while singing "If I Were a Boy" she grabbed her crotch. Um ok.

7:30 - I don't know how these female singers can perform in these 5-inch stilletos. She is rocking some serious heels and just runs around the stage like it ain't no thang.

7:32 - Wait. Why is singing an Alanis Morrisette song? Was this on her album? I don't understand. Standby while I Wikipedia this.

7:33 - Ok no. She just decided to incorporate "You Oughta Know" into the middle of her performance. I don't get it. Overall it was a solid performance though. Girl can wail that's for sure. Sometimes she just needs to take the energy down juuuuust a notch.

7:37 - I think I have never been to an Olive Garden as an adult because their commercials are TERRIBLE. Seriously the worst.

7:39 - Seal comes out to present and they cut to Heidi Klum in the audience. That sounds about right.

7:40 - Geez another performance. Pink. Or as my brother, sister and I call her Pink the Man. Seriously she looks like a man.

7:42 - Wooooooooah. Ok so she just derobed and is in a nude colored leotard thing with some sparkles and now she is doing aerialist acrobatics.

7:44 - And she just submerged herself in water so now she's wet and spinning in this giant hammock 20 feet in the air. This is a weird performance.

7:45 - Wow she's getting a standing ovation. I did not see that coming.

7:46 - Next up is the award for Best New Artist an award that should also be called "Best New We Only Had One Song This Year That Anyone Knows". Zac Brown Band wins. How nice of them to get dressed up for the occasion. One of them is in a skull cap and they are all in jeans.

7:53 - As if the Black Eyed Peas weren't everywhere as it was , they are now doing Target commercials. I blame Jess who can't even defend herself because she doesn't read my blog. Mwahaha.

7:54 - Miley Cyrus introduces the Black Eyes Peas. Fergie is wearing a leotard made out of armor and a visor. Also why is she rapping? She acts all hard whenever she performs and she's not at all. Her real name is Stacey and she used to be on Kids Incorporated ok? Give it up Fergie, we are all on to you. I think I am over the Black Eyed Peas.

7:58 - Their back up dancers are dressed like giant radios. How do you think those auditions went? "Hey listen so put these giant cardboard boxes on your arms and on your legs like shinguards. Okay now jump up and down. Okay good now walk. Excellent. Okay well that's all we've got for you for today. We'll be in touch."

8:05 - The Jo Bros introduce Lady Antebellum. I really like this band. I bought their new CD on iTunes and it's really good. They're singing "I Need You Now." Ha and their backdrop just fell down and got caught on the female singer's head. Not planned.

8:06 - So the Jo Bros told us that they already won twice tonight. Wouldn't you be pissed if some record exec was like "Oh by the way you won. Here's your Grammy" instead of getting all the pomp and circumstance and getting to give a speech on national television? I mean I guess at the end of the day you're still winning your award. But if it were me I'd want a big deal made out of me. Just sayin.

8:09 - And we're actually going to watch someone win Best Comedy Album? I guess so.

8:10 - Oh Stephen Colbert wins. Okay I get it now. He's hosting so that's what this makes sense. Wait. No I still don't understand why any of us should care about this award.

8:11 - The Lady Gaga-Beyonce-Taylor Swift showdown is about to commence in five minutes. And OMG the only talented Jonas Brother is doing a Target commercial too. What the hell Jess? Can't you do something about this?

8:18 - Woah. So the first upset of the night. Kings of Leon win Record of the Year for "Use Somebody" over Taylor, Beyonce or Gaga. Weird. Ha but they just said that they're a little drunk so that's awesome.

8:21 - Jamie Foxx is performing Blame It and they've cut to Rihanna and Jay Z singing along. I'm just sayin they could also be showing Keith Urban jamming to T Pain and Jamie Foxx. Maybe he's a fan. Except they did just show Fergie and her husband Josh Duhamel had this really confused look on his face.

8:23 - T Pain is not wearing a top hat. That disappoints me. You know what does not disappoint ever? I'm On A Boat:

8:31 - Sorry I went to get a snack. And by snack I mean more wine.

8:32 - Katy Perry's dress is awful.

8:33 - Green Day wins Best Rock Album. Not that interested.

8:39 - Zack Brown Band has been performing with some super old guy. Not much to say really. Except how did it get to become called the Zack Brown Band. Are the other guys' names so terrible that nobody else's was even an option? I mean sure something like "The Amanda Piechowski Band" is going to be a little hard to fit on a CD cover but how does one guy get to represent the whole band.

8:45 - Seacrest introduces Taylor Swift. If I were Taylor Swift I would vehemently oppose him introducing me. I'd pick someone hot. Like Derek from Dancing with the Stars or David Beckham. They have as much to do with the Grammys as Seacrest does so why not? Come on you're Taylor Swift - the world is literally your oyster right now. Go big baby.

8:53 - Okay I do not understand what is happening. Lionel Richie is introducing Celine Dion, Jennifer Hudson, Smokey Robinson, Carrie Underwood and Usher who are going to sing one of Michael Jackson's song and CBS just told me to put my 3D glasses on. How did I not get the memo that there was going to be a 3D portion of the show? How am I supposed to do my readers justice if I am not fully experiencing every aspect of this show?

8:57 - Everyone in the audience is wearing 3D glasses. Rihanna looks very serious in hers. Celine Dion still has a legit voice. I wish Usher was dancing during this performance. Carrie Underwood is beautiful. I don't really care about Jennifer Hudson or Smokey Robinson unfortunately.

8:59 - That was good. Wish I could have seen it in 3D. Everyone is on their feet as expected. OH SHIT it's his kids. OMG this is epic.


9:09 - Bon Jovi's performance is up. I can't believe they've never performed on the Grammys before. Five bucks says the "fan vote" song is "Livin on a Prayer".

9:13 - Aaand someone owes me five bucks.

9:17 - OMG "I'm on a Boat" is actually nominated for a Grammy for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration. But "Run This Town" wins with Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye.

9:26 - Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli are singing a song together for Haitian relief. Should be a good one.

9:35 - I'm losing interest Grammys. Too many performances and not enough awards and speeches.

9:41 - Nice. Nothin like a little DMB performance. This song is great.

9:46 - Hooray Glee! Rachel from Glee is presenting alongside... Ricky Martin? Beyonce wins Female Pop Vocal Performance for Halo. Her dress is terrible. Aaaand she just referred to Jay Z as her husband and told them that she loves him. That is the first time either one has ever acknowledged that they got married. I mean it's not like nobody knows but they've just always kept it really under wraps.

10:00 - I always like these "In Memoriam" montages that they do. Completely forgot that DJ AM passed away. But I always usually know a couple people, mainly because of my parents talking about them.

10:03 - Lady Gaga looks like the Empire State Building. Did you know she's only 23? I just don't really get it with her. This whole gimmick with her outfits and hats and masks and all that.

10:16 - This Drake/Lil Wayne/Eminem performance is awesome. Sidenote: Drake is a pretty good looking guy. I might be a Drake fan after this.

10:23 - John Legend and Santana are presenting the final award of the night for Album of the Year. Here we go...

10:24 - Wow. Taylor Swift wins it. Unbelievable. Man I have to say though good for her. I should do a post on her because talk about someone who could really be a role model for young girls everywhere. She's one of my new favorite celebs.

So to wrap up here are my final thoughts:
- Congrats to Taylor Swift but I would have liked to see Lady Gaga win an award. I think she's doing some pretty cool things in the music business. Maybe next year.
- The show was way too full of performances, I'm sorry. They showed literally like 7 actual awards be given out in a 3.5 hour show.
- Next year I think I need to do a blog about the fashion before the show. E! always does an On the Red Carpet show before all these awards shows and there were some ridic outfits that I would have loved to have commented on.

Thanks for playing.

1 comment:

  1. Can't believe you're gunna sit there and eat Texas toast then criticize ZBB for wearing their signature outfits, which also happen to be their best clothes.