1.05.2010

Triple R 2010 Edition

New year, same ridiculous celebrity relationship news. Let's go!

Vince Vaughn Ties the Knot
Congrats to Vince Vaughn who got married over the weekend. Seriously good for him. I think people expected him to be the Swingers guy his whole life and I'm glad that he's decided to shed that jokester image a bit and settle down. And she's just a normal girl which I think suits him way more. I just didn't get the Jennifer Aniston thing. I mean he's Vince Vaughn and she's... well, she's Jennifer Aniston. She married Brad Pitt for crying out loud. And I'm sure they were very happy together but at the end of the day, it just didn't seem to be quite his style. And to be honest, I think it's interesting that you never heard about him in the media until he dated her and you haven't really heard from him since. He's just a regular dude at the end of the day so I'm glad he found a regular girl to complement him.

Casey Who?
You might have heard some recent news that a woman by the name of Casey Johnson has passed away. Who? She is the heiress of Johnson & Johnson, like the baby shampoo company, and her dad owns the Jets. Apparently she is also BFF with Paris and Nicky Hilton. But beside it just being a sad story (she was only 30 and she leaves behind an adopted daughter), why are we including it in this week's Triple R? Because apparently she was engaged to Tila Tequila. Which means that Tila Tequila has found yet another way to remain relevant. If you're not sure who Tila Tequila is, you're not missing much. She's basically famous for nothing (what else is new these days). She had a terrible show on MTV called A Shot at Love. Get it? Shot? Tequila? Like a tequila shot. She is apparently bisexual so it was a contest for guys and girls to win her heart. That failed. Literally the show was so bad even I couldn't watch it and I watch The Hills so you know my standards aren't very high. Then apparently Shawn Merriman tried to hit her. Now apparently she was engaged to this woman who just passed away. She announced it on her Twitter, then retracted it, but now is asking everyone to pray for her wifey. This is the same woman who also announced she was pregnant with her brother's baby because she was going to be a surrogate for him. Which is questionable in and of itself but then she retracts that too! So the moral of the story is: it's a shame that this poor woman has to be part of the Tila Tequila camp. And maybe they really were engaged and blissfully in love and if that is the case, then that's awesome. But history has shown that Tila Tequila hasn't always had the best track record when it comes to oh telling the truth.

How is Rosie O'Donnell Still in the News?
So Rosie O'Donnell apparently has a new girlfriend. I'm sorry if I'm a little fuzzy on the details of her previous relationship or why that fell through but I also thought that Rosie O'Donnell stopped being relevant like 15 years ago. Seriously, I can remember being in like the 6th grade and her talk show being on and then suddenly it wasn't on anymore. So then what happened to her? So she joined The View where she did what she does best: be loud and obnoxious. Then she started picking on poor little Elisabeth Hasslebeck and they had such a giant fight over the war or gay marriage or something that they had a huge falling out and Rosie left the show or maybe Barbara Walters kicked her off. So then what happened? She just started getting angry at everyone. She got angry at Donald Trump and was still angry at Elisabeth Hasslebeck and was probably angry at Barbara Walters too. So I thought well maybe things have changed when I noticed that she has a show on satellite radio. So I decided to tune in for five seconds.

Nope, she is still terrible. She sits on her show and gives her opinions about the war in Iraq and why we shouldn't call people terrorists and has suddenly become some political expert. When did this happen? And I understand that her giving her opinions isn't much different from me giving mine on this blog. But come on. I just don't really get how Rosie O'Donnell suddenly became the go-to for all of the latest political drama. Feel free to explain this to me, anyone. Really.

Okay We Get It. She's Engaged.
Carrie Underwood got engaged over Christmas and I think I mentioned that I was very happy for her. Now after reading this article I'm not so sure. If I have to read every scathing detail of what she's eating and not eating and what china patterns she's picking out, this is going to get really old really fast. This story is just irritating.

Speaking of Engaged...
Katy Perry (she sings "Waking Up in Vegas" and "Hot and Cold") and Russell Brand (the rockstar sex addict guy in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall") are engaged after dating for about three months. Hmmm. Stuff like that always sounds a bit sketchy but she's kind of weird and so is he so maybe they'll be happy. I predict that they get married in like Japan or something on a whim in a ceremony that combines traditions from India, Asia, and who knows where else.

Rihanna Moves On
Well look at Rihanna go. This is where I talk about girl power and how she's overcome her obstacles and all that. So go ahead and imagine what I would say. I'll wait.

The only thing of any real interest to me is that Rihanna and Matt Kemp went to The Grove together. My parents' house is like 15 minutes from The Grove. Why don't I ever see these celebrities at places like The Grove or Third Street Promenade or on the pier? I LOVE celebrities. Is one celeb sighting so much to ask?

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