Things I Think Are Stupid

So today I had a very unfortunate happening at the gym which made me realize that there are two things that I think are really stupid. These things are the auto-faucets and auto-paper towel dispensers in public restrooms and people who don't pick up after their dog. And yes they will get tied together.

First the auto-faucets/auto-paper towel dispensers. Is this a germ thing or a let's try and save money thing? Neither one really makes sense if you think about it. If there is that big of a concern over germs then the door to the bathroom should be automatic too because for all of the oh don't touch the faucet handles! and the oh don't touch the paper towel handle! the second you put your hand on that door knob to exit the bathroom, you're touching who knows how much bacteria. Yep. I said it. Bacteria everywhere. So what's the point. Plus if you're trying to save money, what do you think is going to happen? Do you think I'm just going to run through and turn on all the faucets and get nuts? Am I going to just pump out paper towels and throw them everywhere? Maybe make myself a paper towel dress? The answer is no. I'm pretty sure that most adults can handle turning the faucets on and off and taking the appropriate amount of paper towels.

Furthermore, these piece of shit machines don't work. This was my completely frustrating experience tonight. You wave your hand in front of what you think is the sensor and nothing happens. So you move your hand up and down. Nothing. You take your hand away, you put it back, you wave it frantically from side to side. It. Doesn't. Work. So now you look ridiculous and it is infuriating. Then you move to the next sink or tower dispenser only to see someone walk right up and suddenly the water is just flowing like a river and paper towels are literally throwing themselves at this person. Terrible.

Plus, I don't like that these machines will tell me how much water and paper towels I'm allowed to have. I am a pretty girl and I will decide for myself how much water I need and how many paper towels I would like.

Next. If you are not willing to fully carry out all of the responsibilities that come with owning a pet, you should not own a pet. This includes picking up after your dog when he's on a walk. I do not own a dog for this reason. I don't like smelly things so I know that I would not be a good dog owner. My cat goes in a box and that's that. So why should I be penalized because someone else is too lazy or thinks it's gross or comes up with some other excuse to just leave it lying on the ground. That is not fair to the rest of us who are just trying to walk or get out of our car or go throw out the trash. Because you know what happens? We step in it. I bet if you did a study, it would show that more people who don't own dogs step in poop than do people who do own dogs. It's like a terrible karmic rule or Newton's Law of Owning a Dog or something.

So the grand question is how in the world do these things tie together?

So I get to the gym today and I'm changing in the little room and I realize that something is kind of smelly and sure enough I look and I have poop on my shoe. Yep. Don't know where it came from or when I stepped in it but there it is. Gross. So so gross. So with only one shoe on I'm trying to find a locker while holding my poop shoe. So now I try to clean it off because I want to go to my class and not just leave you know? So this is when I try to get a couple of paper towels. Epic fail. See above for my frustrations. Then I try to take the two measly paper towels they give me and run some water on them and no water will come out. I tried THREE faucets. It was a disaster. So I finally got most of the poop off my shoe and went to my class but the whole time I was paranoid that my shoe was still smelly and that people knew what had happened. I laugh about it now but at the time I was not amused. Trust me.

1 comment:

  1. Concurment for the most part, except on the touching the door handle thing. Just hold onto the paper towel, open the door with it, then go Kobe and sink it into the nearest trashcan. You can even yell out Kobe as you hit the shot, or if you fumble the towel you can yell out Kwame.

    P.S. You should ad an option to the poll, stupid internet verification words that you can't read because they've mashed a word into two letters.