Time for Some Awards

We're back with awards! Sidenote, I just started to manually code the HTML for the link to the first award. Can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing...

The Good Luck with that Award
And the winner is: Amy Winehouse's new clothing line
Accepting this award is a representative from Fred Perry:
"Now I know that when you think of Amy Winehouse, the words 'good taste' don't really come to mind but I'm here to tell you that we at Fred Perry think that we are really on to something. Sure her signature look can probably best be described as white trash meets drug addict but we at Fred Perry think that edgy with lots of attitude and yes maybe even sexy is a much more accurate description. I mean think about it. From her hair to her cutoff jean shorts to walking around with her bra hanging out, she's what we like to call an up and comer in the fashion industry. Who wouldn't want to have one of these signature Amy Winehouse looks as you're very own? Get on board the Amy Winehouse train America because it stops for no one!"

The Let's Calm Down Award
And the winner is: Jessica Simpson
Accepting this award is Jessica Simpson:
"I will not calm down. I mean I'm 29 people. I might as well be one foot in the grave when it comes to settling down. I really could die alone any day now. I just don't understand why this is so hard for me. I mean it's not like I'm picking dbag guys to date and fall in love with. Nick Lachey and I had a really happy marriage and putting it all on a reality show on MTV should have strengthened our marriage bond so I don't understand what went wrong there still. John Mayer and Tony Romo both seemed like really standup guys who wouldn't ever hurt me or ever be attracted to other women so I'm still so confused as to why I'm alone! No I take that back. You know what? It is hard to be a superstar like me and to try and have a normal life. I just have no idea how people like Carrie Underwood and Kim Kardashian and Katy Perry, just to name a few, manage to find happiness and a really good relationship while being so successful. It's just so hard being me."

The It's Already Starting Award
And the winner is: Kate Gosselin's "Dancing with the Stars" drama
Accepting this award is Kate Gosselin:
"First of all, everyone should vote for me on Dancing with the Stars which starts Monday. You know, it's like I said on my People magazine cover - why can't moms have fun too? My eight children who just saw me go through a really bad public divorce between me and my dbag husband that was barely finalized three months ago will totally understand that it was worth me leaving them in the care of five nannies three days a week for three months when they see me lift that mirror ball trophy. Their teachers who they are lashing out at will understand and so will their therapists in about 15 years. I have awesome new hair now and it deserves to be seen all over the country. Plus, how am I supposed to keep paying for my tanning sessions and 1.2 million dollar house without a little extra income? So see, you could even say I'm doing this FOR my kids."

The Everyone Saw This Coming Award
And the winner is: Jennifer Love Hewitt's break up from Jamie Kennedy
Neither Jamie Kennedy nor Jennifer Love Hewitt were able to be here to accept this award tonight. Jamie Kennedy is at home lamenting the loss of the only thing to get him back in the public eye in the last five years while Jennifer Love Hewitt is back on the market and couldn't attend. We at Livin the Dream gladly accept this award on their behalf.

The Spencer's Back! Award
And the winner is: Spencer Pratt
Accepting this award is Spencer Pratt:
"You didn't seriously think I would just go away did you? Hell no. I let Heidi have her moment and she did pretty well. It was the least I could do for my wife you know? But it's time to reclaim my throne as the prince of Hollywood gossip so I figured what better way than to spin a story about my rage issues than to say that I'm joining the cyber security division at American Defense Enterprise? Not a single one of you even blinked an eye at that article either which is the best part. I knew it'd be believable considering all you see me do on the show is sit on my ass and surf the Internet and you all played right into my hands with that one. And don't you worry. Sure I'll be MIA for a little bit but trust me I will be back. And you'll know it."

The Interesting Career Move Award
And the winner is: Mike Tyson's new gig as a pigeon racing trainer
Mike Tyson also could not be here to accept this award but he's sent a video promotion for his upcoming TV show that will document his work as a pigeon racing trainer. (Joke courtesy of Phil)

1 comment:

  1. 1. wow, never thought crackhead would be a style!

    2. Jessica Simpson needs to be taught that golden rule of dating; there are plenty of chicken in the sea

    3. Gosselin needs death. Serious. Paying for tanning and a 1.2mil house? Fuck off!

    4. no comment on JLH/JK... but now i just realized that it kinda makes a joke in itself.

    5. spencer spends his work day trash-talking with 14yr olds on xbox live....

    6. tyson ftw as long as they use that song in the intro to the show

    and as a side note, i also find myself writing out the html code.... damn ingrained code!