Triple R - Special Tiger Woods Edition Part I

It's Tuesday so that means it's time for everybody's favorite new feature: Romance Rumors and Rumblings. Today though it's time for a very special edition (already!?). Today we dedicate our feature to our good friend Mr. Tiger Woods. It's time.

To keep things clear, we are going to break things down into a few categories: the mistresses, the wife, Mr. Woods himself and the future.

First, a little history for those who have been living in a cave for the past 2 weeks. I didn't know this but apparently the very first mistress story came about before the entire car accident thing happened. The National Enquirer ran this story about a New York socialite having an affair with Tiger but the woman denies it. Then a few days later it comes out that he got into a car crash and hit a tree. That weekend, things start to get shadier and shadier. Why was Tiger leaving his house at 2:30 in the morning? Why doesn't he talk to police about what happened? Well then our good friends at TMZ report that he and his wife had been fighting over these rumored affairs and he stormed out of the house. So then they issue a statement where he says his wife acted courageously and helped him during the crash. After this, another woman comes forward and says she had a 31-month affair with him. Then the voicemail comes out where he tells her to take her name off her phone. So Tiger tries to man up and issue another statement about his "transgressions". But despite all of that, chaos has ensued and now as many as 10 women are coming forward claiming to have been with him.

The Mistresses
Like I said, as of Monday, as many as 10 women have come forward to say that they were somehow intimately involved with Tiger Woods. For some, it was just a couple of nights here and there while others insist that they carried on long-term relationships with the golfer. The most notable ones are the one New York socialite who started this whole thing and then a second one who was on some terrible show on VH1 and has quite the rap sheet.

So my beef with the mistresses is this: is this really the way you want to get your 15 minutes of fame? Are people that obsessed with becoming famous that they'll go to these lengths? These women have gotten a hold of pretty much every trashy tabloid and newspaper that will listen to them and disclosed basically everything. The more details the better. But is this really how you want to get your name out there? With Radar Online and TMZ sharing every gory detail of your past with the world? These websites and tabloids will get their hands on anything and everything and run with it. So apparently these women really don't have a lot of pride in themselves, which I guess is clear based on the fact that they fully consented to having an affair. Sorry if that's harsh but give me a break. For 15 minutes of fame, you're going to let videos and topless pictures and news about how you were in jail once and did all of these scandalous things come out? Why can't you just try and get famous by being really terrible on an audition episode of American Idol like normal people?

Furthermore, do these women really think people are going to believe their "I had no idea he was a celebrity" sob stories? Please. He is Tiger Woods. Even if you don't watch golf, you mean to tell me you've never flipped through a magazine and seen a Gatorade ad? You've never seen one of those Gillette commercials on TV? Have you ever heard of Nike? Come on. Or on second thought, I guess if all you do is party and waitress and go out to clubs, maybe you don't have time to watch TV or look through magazines.

And in my final notes about the mistresses, who saves 100s and 100s of text messages without thinking to themselves "You know, at some point these could be really valuable." I love CM a lot but I have no desire to save any of his text messages. I'm sorry but it's true. Furthermore, how is it even possible to save that many? I'm just saying that I am 99% sure these women fully knew what they were getting themselves and had a master plan to expose everything when the time was right the whole time. Shady.

The Wife
So if all of these affairs really did happen (and at this point, it's getting pretty hard to find evidence that says otherwise), how pissed are you if you're Elin? If she did in fact go after his car with golf clubs because she was all sorts of infuriated with him, who can blame her. She's stood by him as the trophy wife for the past five years and this is the thanks she gets? Golf is boring and she watched a lot of golf to show her support for him. Plus, she's a supermodel. It doesn't really get any better than that for a dude.

So what are her options? Well, she can leave him. And she can stay with him. Usually the immediate answer is you leave his ass. But not so fast. There of course is the almighty prenup to consider. Originally she would get 20 mil if she stayed with him for 10 years. Now things have apparently been rearranged so that she can get up to 80 mil for only 7 years. For those keeping score at home, that's in only two more years. Furthermore, pictures of her and their kids are going for like 250K. So then she can sell her story to the highest bidder: Why I Stayed with Tiger. US Weekly would love it.

Is this really the path that celebrity marriages have taken? Everything ultimately ends in dollars? That makes me pretty sad. Yes they were apparently doing some intense counseling when all the affair news started coming out and you have to give them credit for that because something tells me not a lot of high profile couples take that route and if so, they don't talk about it. But at the end of the day, people aren't talking about that are they? People aren't writing stories about deals where if Tiger goes through three years of intense counseling then she'll stay with him are they. Dollars baby, dollars.

But I'm sorry Elin. I'd still leave him. Five years, two children - and something tells me that Tiger Woods was not the easiest guy to live with. If money's what you want, I'm pretty sure that can be arranged. There's already stories that say she bought some castle or something in her home country of Sweden and that she hasn't been at their home in a few days. So maybe things are already heading in that direction. She has every right to take him to the house right now because he's essentially made a fool out of her. And yes maybe I'm getting all girl power on everyone right now but I'm sorry, she'll have a lot of judges on her side who will give her what she wants over how ever many years she wants it. Take the kids, get child support, and then sell your story of how you were hurt and embarassed but now you're a single lady making it in a big bad world. Yeah ladies!

Ooooh looks like I'm leaving you guys hanging. This is long enough for now... tomorrow or Thursday we will post part dos and discuss Tiger himself as well as what the future holds for everyone.


  1. Here's the thing, 10 mistresses? 10? Really? I highly doubt that. I think maybe 3, max. The other 7 are no-name people that are just coming out of nowhere. Literally, this could be like Katie coming out tomorrow and saying "Hey everyone, I'm number 11." As for the phone message, things can so easily be doctored now a days for a price. Maybe she was a stalker and Tiger called her and said, "ERASE MY SHIT..." and the rest is fabricated. It's a possibility. As for where was he going at 2:30am...who cares? It's not our business. And why didn't he talk to the police? Because it wasn't required so he chose not to.

    I don't take anything TMZ reports seriously, and I immediately discredit the National Inquirer.

    Don't get me wrong, this is not me shouting at you, it's a very general frustration for me is all. Just my opinion.

  2. Mr. Nick, you don't take anything TMZ & the Nat Inq. reports seriously? They are usually pretty accurate on celebs and almost always accurate on affairs. Pretty sure it was one of them who broke the story on John Edward's sordid affair while his cancer ridden wife laid at home. So as MIB says, best investigative journalism in the world.

  3. Is it possible he was arriving at 230am? Is it possible he was Christmas shopping (black Saturday)?