That would be Regis Philbin, the host of Live with Regis and Kelly who announced he will be retiring at the end of this season after 28 years with the show. This is pretty epic. This is up there with Bob Barker leaving Price is Right, Larry King leaving his show and Simon Cowell leaving American Idol.
So now the search is on for someone to replace him and our good friends at People Magazine and Entertainment Weekly have released a list of 10 names, plus a secondary "silly" list, of potentials.
Of course, I hate pretty much all of these names. So let's break them down, shall we?
Ryan Seacrest: NO. Heeeeeeell no. Ryan Seacrest is already involved in way too many projects. Does he really need a morning TV show to go along with a morning radio show, American Idol, and executive producing and hosting on E? How will he ever have time then to be in another Kardashian Christmas card? Seacrest overload. No thank you.
Jeff Probst, host of Survivor: I've never really watched Survivor so I don't know how mad crazy his hosting skills might be, but I'm not sure if he would be able to be a celebrity interviewer after being the Survivor host. Telling contestants that they will be standing on a wooden plank in the ocean for as long as they can to receive a quarter ounce of peanut butter as a reward isn't the same as asking Robert Pattinson just how he gets his locks to look so luscious. I'd still rather see him than Seacrest.
Mario Lopez: Another resounding heeeeeell no from LTD. Kelly Ripa is already the pretty and buff host of the show. Seriously, have you seen her arms? Mario Lopez is slowly ruining his awesome rep as the one and only AC Slater. Being on Dancing with the Stars was fine but now he's all over Extra and hosting the Miss America pageants and I don't like it one bit.
Chris Harrison, host of The Bachelor: Now here's a pick I can get on board with. Chris Harrison is the man. The Bachelor/Bachelorette is like a car accident for me - I can't look but I can't look away - and I have the ultimate love-hate relationship with that show. But my absolute favorite moment of every show is when he comes out right before the final rose is going to be given and says "Ladies. Brad. The final rose." and then walks back offset. On second thought, I don't even want him as a cohost anymore. Can he just be waiting in the wings to come out and say "Kelly. New Regis. Justin Bieber." and then walk away? Still if it's between him, Slater or Seacrest, my vote is with Chris Harrison right now.
Chris Cuomo from 20/20: So I don't watch 20/20 so I don't know who this is. But isn't this kind of a career downgrade to go from 20/20 to Live with (insert name here) and Kelly? He just did a yearlong investigation on troubled teens and getting homeless youth off the street. You know what they do on Live with Regis and Kelly? This:
Don't do it Chris Cuomo. You've worked with Barbara Walters.
Anderson Cooper: The Silver Fox himself. This could be an okay choice. Like Chris Cuomo, he's a pretty legit investigative journalist, but I think he'd have a good rapport with celebs and be able to ask really good questions. Plus he's just serious enough to counter when Kelly Ripa turns into a huge ditz on the show - which is all the time. He has my vote too, although the EW article says he's trying to start his own daytime talk show. On second thought he does strike me as the type to fly solo. He is probably a bigger diva than Kelly.
Billy Bush: This guy is like Seacrest Jr. but not as good as the original (as much as it pains me to say it, Seacrest is good at what he does). He's from Access Hollywood I think and he's just a tool and a much less talented one at that.
Neil Patrick Harris: The one. The only. NPH. My vote all the way. NPH would be perfect for this gig. He's witty, he's well-known, he's not obnoxious. He would make me want to watch this show. Do it ABC. Pick NPH. I'm totally drinking the Kool Aid on this one.
Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs and also Ford and possibly jean commercials: This guy is pretty funny but he's the Dirty Jobs guy! He can't be sitting next to Kelly Ripa in a chair in a suit asking Kate Gosselin about her new hairdo. He needs to be out shoveling fish guts from the bottom of a boat or something. He's too manly for this show.
So those are the main contenders according to EW. Additionally there is a secondary list with names that are too "silly" to place next to the top 10 up there. And by silly I think they'd rather be saying "the worst ideas ever, yes even worse than Seacrest."
Nick Jonas: This has to be a joke. He is the youngest of the Jo Bros. He's like 17. I'm not even going to comment further on this.
Bryant Gumbel, Glenn Beck: These two get lumped in together because to me they are both old guys who seem like they're just fine doing what they do currently. If either of these made any kind of cut, I would be stunned.
Tom Bergeron: Bergeron is hysterical. His one liners on Dancing with the Stars are about the only thing that show has going for it anymore to be honest. He should actually be up with the top 10 because I wouldn't mind seeing him get this gig.
Larry King: I'm sorry. Didn't Larry King just retire? Isn't he also just as old and senile if not oldER and MORE senile than Regis Philbin? Why would we swap out one for the other? This is a terrible idea.
My top choices are NPH, Chris Harrison and Tom Bergeron. Fun fact though, when they picked Kelly Ripa rumors like this started floating around too and her name wasn't mentioned ever. Not one single time. So going off of that, I bet they pick someone like Matt Lauer just to keep us all guessing.