BREAKING News: J Lo and Marc Anthony Split Up

It's Friday afternoon, all I can think about is the weekend, I've got a comedy station on Pandora going to keep me entertained while I write men's soccer bios and so I decide I'm going to check in on Facebook for a quick second.

And then I see this:

Of course, this confuses me.  So I keep scrolling and I see THIS: 

And I literally yell out to my coworkers "Oh my God, J Lo and Marc Anthony split up."

I mean, what was I expecting?  For an actual Hollywood marriage to last?  That two people who got married within months of starting up their romance would love, honor and cherish each other til death did them part? That Sean Combs'/Puff Daddy's/P. Diddy's/Diddy Dirty Money's ex and someone who was married to a former Miss Universe would be in it for the long haul?

Guys, I did.  I really did. Because for the last seven years (and most specifically in the last few months while watching Judge J Lo on American Idol), all you saw and read about was how blissfully happy they were and how, despite them being all fabulous, they just had a real normal, down-to-earth family life. Interview after interview, magazine spread after magazine spread - he even made like 3 guest appearances on Idol - they gushed over how awesomely amazing their perfect little life was. I really believed this stuff.

And now it's over. 

I'm sure we'll never ever know the real reasons behind the split.  Sometimes things just kind of come to an end.  It's no one's fault; it just happens and so far that's the statement they've given.  It's amicable, it's a mutual decision, it is what it is.

But secretly?  You know it's because J Lo is en fuego right now.

Think about it.  Or rather, let me tell you what Wikipedia just told me:

Seven years ago, she releases an album that goes nowhere, then puts out a Spanish-language album which did well on the Latin Pop charts but until I looked it up on Wikipedia, I had no idea she had done this and you probably didn't either. From there her music just kind of stops happening.  Movie-wise, box office gems such as Monster-in-Law, Gigli, and El Cantante had, well, bombed. So she basically stops making movies too.

Now she's a family woman. She gets married, she has her twins, she occasionally dabbles here or there in fashion, etc. But otherwise, she's started to settle down and fade into a relative obscurity, wouldn't you say? 

Then things start ramping up a little.  In September 2010, it's announced that she is going to replace Ellen as the new judge on American Idol. Rumors start going around that she was going to have a cameo appearance on Glee, which, like it or not, is now one of the biggest shows on TV. She signs a new record deal with Def Jam and conveniently puts out a new single that coincides with the season premier of American Idol.  I can't get away from this stupid song and it becomes her first top ten since 2003.  Oh and People Magazine names her the Most Beautiful Woman in the World.

So on the finale of American Idol, Marc Anthony performs some song.  Great.  It's a pretty standard performance until about the 2 minute mark of this performance:

(Sorry I couldn't find any clips of just her that were any shorter.)

Now to those of you who watched the American Idol finale, I pose a question:

The next day, as you were recapping the results and how Scotty is the worst Idol winner ever except maybe for the gray haired guy, did you a) mention what a powerful vocal performance Marc Anthony gave or b) comment on how you can't believe Jennifer Lopez can still shake that thang?

My answer is B.  Once she came out, pretty sure Marc Anthony faded back into the "oh that's J Lo's husband right?" category that he had come to know and tolerate. It took me like three rewinds before I was finally convinced that it was her moving like that on the stage. She stole the show completely. 

So guys, I think it's safe to say that J Lo is back - in really every way.  She probably has a very long career ahead of her as an Idol judge, her music is relevant again, and she got to meet Prince William and Kate Middleton. She means something again and that could be the catalyst for these marriage woes.  

Sidenote: Idol's finale aired at the end of May.  TWO MONTHS LATER they are announcing their split. This is weird isn't it? Just sayin.

So while I'm still shocked that it actually happen, I can't help but think that it really does make a lot of sense. Jenny's spotlight is starting to shine a little brighter and she's ready to relive her glory days. I mean she was Selena for Pete's sake.