By now everyone's seen Blake Griffin's final dunk from the 2011 Slam Dunk Contest. If you haven't, basically he jumps over the hood of a Kia Optima as an alley oop pass is thrown to him and slams a two-handed jam down.
Well Blake. That was awesome and you are definitely awesome. But the fine people over at And1 have done you one better... much, much better.
Sorry Blake. Convertible trumps Kia Optima. Through the legs trumps two-handed slamma jamma. And1 trumps Kenny Smith as your coach and a gospel choir singing "I Believe I Can Fly".
Your move, Griffin.
3.10.2011
Can We Get Some Music In Here Please?
I have a decent 20-minute commute back and forth to work every day, which means lots of radio time. Which also means that I have discovered just how awful the music out there is today. And I'm into some pretty bad music. I mean, have you seen how many Glee songs I have in my iTunes playlist?
All I'm saying is I'm getting tired of hearing Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Rihanna on repeat on the 10 or so presets I have on my radio. Bruno Mars' newest song is about how he wants to be lazy and do nothing all day long. It has the word "Snuggie" in it. I can't even make this up.
So the following list has been compiled of artists that need to come out with new music so that I don't get carpal tunnel in my pointer finger from pressing the radio preset buttons 108 times during my 20 minute drive:
1. Kelly Clarkson - The last album from the original American Idol was "All I Ever Wanted" which came out in March of 2009. It was a fantastic album and I miss me some Kelly Clarkson. Most recently, she's done a few duets, namely with country stars Reba McIntire and Jason Aldean and the songs she's been on have also been pretty fantastic. Not that I want her to go to a pure country route anytime soon, but hearing her back on the radio made me pretty nostalgic. Well imagine my surprise when I saw on her Twitter (yes I follow her) that she is completing her final song on the new album which will be released within the next month! Super pumped to hear what she comes out with next.
2. Justin Timberlake - Everything JT touches turns to gold, but it's time for him to stop acting and dueting and get back to the studio to put out his own album. Futuresex/Lovesounds came out when I was living in PULLMAN for crying out loud. Stop voicing the animated booger on The Cleveland Show and start bringing sexy back because if anybody can bring sexy back twice in less than 5 years, it's Justin Timberlake. Not sure how valid these rumors are, but apparently he is dropping a new album this year. Don't mess with my emotions JT. Also you should tweet more.
3. Josh Kelley - SO excited that Josh Kelley's newest CD is coming out March 22. Even though he's married to Katherine Heigl and I think she's awful, he is a fantastic singer and his lyrics are always amazing. He recently came out with Georgia Clay, which has been getting some play on the country charts and it's been a really easy transition for him. Although his stuff doesn't get played on mainstream radio that often, it will be nice to have a new album from him to listen to at work.
4. David Cook - This isn't going to be a very popular choice, mainly because most of you readers out there have no clue who this is. David Cook won American Idol in season seven and his debut album is still a fave of mine. He's got a great voice and puts a lot of emotion into everything he sings. Apparently he's working on his second album now and it should also becoming out this year. In the meantime, he did a cover song of "Don't You Forget About Me" aka The Breakfast Club song and apparently this is going to be the send off song every time an American Idol contestant gets eliminated this year. I guess we'll find out tonight if that's true. Not gonna lie, I didn't like the preview I heard on iTunes but I still think his next album will be legit.
5. John Mayer - So John Mayer's last album came out in 2009 so I guess it's too soon for another one. Maybe that means the radio can just start playing more of him and less of everyone else?
Good news: most of my list should have new stuff coming out this year. Bad news: I still have to hear about Bruno Mars wanting to catch a grenade for me.
All I'm saying is I'm getting tired of hearing Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Rihanna on repeat on the 10 or so presets I have on my radio. Bruno Mars' newest song is about how he wants to be lazy and do nothing all day long. It has the word "Snuggie" in it. I can't even make this up.
So the following list has been compiled of artists that need to come out with new music so that I don't get carpal tunnel in my pointer finger from pressing the radio preset buttons 108 times during my 20 minute drive:
1. Kelly Clarkson - The last album from the original American Idol was "All I Ever Wanted" which came out in March of 2009. It was a fantastic album and I miss me some Kelly Clarkson. Most recently, she's done a few duets, namely with country stars Reba McIntire and Jason Aldean and the songs she's been on have also been pretty fantastic. Not that I want her to go to a pure country route anytime soon, but hearing her back on the radio made me pretty nostalgic. Well imagine my surprise when I saw on her Twitter (yes I follow her) that she is completing her final song on the new album which will be released within the next month! Super pumped to hear what she comes out with next.
2. Justin Timberlake - Everything JT touches turns to gold, but it's time for him to stop acting and dueting and get back to the studio to put out his own album. Futuresex/Lovesounds came out when I was living in PULLMAN for crying out loud. Stop voicing the animated booger on The Cleveland Show and start bringing sexy back because if anybody can bring sexy back twice in less than 5 years, it's Justin Timberlake. Not sure how valid these rumors are, but apparently he is dropping a new album this year. Don't mess with my emotions JT. Also you should tweet more.
3. Josh Kelley - SO excited that Josh Kelley's newest CD is coming out March 22. Even though he's married to Katherine Heigl and I think she's awful, he is a fantastic singer and his lyrics are always amazing. He recently came out with Georgia Clay, which has been getting some play on the country charts and it's been a really easy transition for him. Although his stuff doesn't get played on mainstream radio that often, it will be nice to have a new album from him to listen to at work.
4. David Cook - This isn't going to be a very popular choice, mainly because most of you readers out there have no clue who this is. David Cook won American Idol in season seven and his debut album is still a fave of mine. He's got a great voice and puts a lot of emotion into everything he sings. Apparently he's working on his second album now and it should also becoming out this year. In the meantime, he did a cover song of "Don't You Forget About Me" aka The Breakfast Club song and apparently this is going to be the send off song every time an American Idol contestant gets eliminated this year. I guess we'll find out tonight if that's true. Not gonna lie, I didn't like the preview I heard on iTunes but I still think his next album will be legit.
5. John Mayer - So John Mayer's last album came out in 2009 so I guess it's too soon for another one. Maybe that means the radio can just start playing more of him and less of everyone else?
Good news: most of my list should have new stuff coming out this year. Bad news: I still have to hear about Bruno Mars wanting to catch a grenade for me.
Unbelieberable... Or Something
Sounds like the Biebs is having a rough Thursday.
Right now, yes, at this very moment, the good people at US Weekly have revealed BREAKING news that Justin Bieber and his recently shorn locks are trapped... TRAPPED I say... inside a London hotel room as a mob of preteens has gathered outside the hotel and a riot of epic proportions could break out at any second. Any. Second.
Apparently London police are saying that JB could get arrested for inciting a riot. That sucks. He can't control the teenyboppers. I was one once. When you have the chance to catch a glimpse of the person you've been semi-stalking for the last year or however long Bieber Fever has been around, you'll do anything and you don't care what legal system might stand in your way.
Here are the most important things to take away from today's incident:
1. CNN's Breaking News Twitter - which I follow because I'm trying to know more about the actual world and less about things like Nicole Richie and Joel Madden fighting over her buying $3,000 pillows (I side with Joel Madden in this one by the way) - posted a tweet about this incident.
2. Justin Bieber has a swagger coach. That is all.
Right now, yes, at this very moment, the good people at US Weekly have revealed BREAKING news that Justin Bieber and his recently shorn locks are trapped... TRAPPED I say... inside a London hotel room as a mob of preteens has gathered outside the hotel and a riot of epic proportions could break out at any second. Any. Second.Apparently London police are saying that JB could get arrested for inciting a riot. That sucks. He can't control the teenyboppers. I was one once. When you have the chance to catch a glimpse of the person you've been semi-stalking for the last year or however long Bieber Fever has been around, you'll do anything and you don't care what legal system might stand in your way.
Here are the most important things to take away from today's incident:
1. CNN's Breaking News Twitter - which I follow because I'm trying to know more about the actual world and less about things like Nicole Richie and Joel Madden fighting over her buying $3,000 pillows (I side with Joel Madden in this one by the way) - posted a tweet about this incident.
2. Justin Bieber has a swagger coach. That is all.
3.07.2011
Video of the Day: That's Only in the Morning Edition
Shoutout to Tyler for this gem. Please do yourself a favor and watch until the 1:30 mark.
Woo-wooooooo!
Woo-wooooooo!
3.03.2011
Sports + Hilarity = Go Read This
My brother has started a new sports blog and it's amazing. Do yourself a favor and go check this out.
http://makingplays.tumblr.com/
http://makingplays.tumblr.com/
2.28.2011
Liiiiive! This. Is the New Cast of Dancing with the Stars!
Tonight during The Bachelor, ABC revealed who will be on the newest cast of Dancing with the Stars which premieres this month sometime. Not gonna lie, I have no idea when it starts.
So without further ado, here are the 11 has beens, I mean celebrities, who will shake and shimmy their way towards the mirror ball trophy.
Sugar Ray Leonard
Champion boxer and... that's all I got. But I think that's all there really is to say. He should be thrilled to put on sequins and spandex every week.
Chelsea Kane
Here's what Wikipedia told me: She is on a show on the Disney Channel with the Jo Bros. Blah. For some reason she has a second name and also goes by Chelsea Staub. Intriguing.
Romeo aka Lil Romeo
You know how I know who he is? He's Master P's kid. You know how I know who that is? Because when I was a junior in college Percy Miller came to register his two kids for the summer camp I directed. I didn't have a clue who I was dealing with until my boss came in and the following exchange happened:
Boss: You're somebody aren't you?
Master P: Haha. Nah.
Boss: Yes you are. You're somebody.
Master P: I could be.
Boss: Are you... ?
Master P: I don't know what you're talking about.
Boss: You are aren't you?
Master P: Haha. Nah.
Boss: You are! Oh my gosh please sir it's my birthday can I get an autograph please?
Master P: (to me) Is it really her birthday?
Me: Yes it is.
Master P: Alright but only cuz it's your birthday.
Boss: (screams) Thank you thank you thank you oh my goodness thank you.
Boom. I said yes it is to Master P and collected his check for summer camp.
Ralph Macchio
Best. Contestant. Ever. The original Karate Kid? My vote all the way. The only thing more epic than Ralph Macchio on Dancing with the Stars are the team names that the fantasy league is going to come up with.
Petra Nemcova
Here's what I know about her: She's a model. She dated James Blunt aka "You're Beautiful" guy. She survived the tsunami in Thailand by hanging onto a palm tree for eight hours. She couldn't be at the live reveal tonight because she was speaking to the UN. None of those things is a joke. Not even the last one.
Kendra Wilkinson
Kendra is the most relevant and legit celebrity on the show this year. That does not bode well for Dancing with the Stars. If Ralph Macchio loses (but honestly how could he?) I vote for her.
Hines Ward
Wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steeler. I guess losing the Super Bowl has left him either in an extreme state of depression or so desperate to win SOMEthing that he will even take a mirror ball trophy. Either way, his face basically said "What the HELL did I just get myself into?" when he walked out onto the stage.
Mike Catherwood
Co-hosts "Love Line". Never listened to it, vaguely know what it even is, not a single clue. But he's hot.
Wendy Williams
I know Wendy Williams because Joel McHale makes fun of her all the time on The Soup. Observe:
That is going to get really old really fast.
Chris Jericho
Former WWE wrestler who is pretty hot now that he cut his super long blonde hair. Observe the BEFORE and AFTER.
Kirstie Alley
In the "press conference" following the announcement (I can't even make that up), somebody asked Kirstie Alley why she's on the show. She passed. Here's what she wanted to say: Jenny Craig fired me for gaining like 300 pounds so this is my last ditch effort to try and lose weight. Mean? Maybe. True? Probably. Entertaining? Not in the least.
And just when you think it couldn't get any more boring...
Brooke Burke is back.
Good luck Tom Bergeron. You're gonna need it.
So without further ado, here are the 11 has beens, I mean celebrities, who will shake and shimmy their way towards the mirror ball trophy.
Sugar Ray Leonard
Champion boxer and... that's all I got. But I think that's all there really is to say. He should be thrilled to put on sequins and spandex every week.
Chelsea Kane
Here's what Wikipedia told me: She is on a show on the Disney Channel with the Jo Bros. Blah. For some reason she has a second name and also goes by Chelsea Staub. Intriguing.
Romeo aka Lil Romeo
You know how I know who he is? He's Master P's kid. You know how I know who that is? Because when I was a junior in college Percy Miller came to register his two kids for the summer camp I directed. I didn't have a clue who I was dealing with until my boss came in and the following exchange happened:
Boss: You're somebody aren't you?
Master P: Haha. Nah.
Boss: Yes you are. You're somebody.
Master P: I could be.
Boss: Are you... ?
Master P: I don't know what you're talking about.
Boss: You are aren't you?
Master P: Haha. Nah.
Boss: You are! Oh my gosh please sir it's my birthday can I get an autograph please?
Master P: (to me) Is it really her birthday?
Me: Yes it is.
Master P: Alright but only cuz it's your birthday.
Boss: (screams) Thank you thank you thank you oh my goodness thank you.
Boom. I said yes it is to Master P and collected his check for summer camp.
Ralph Macchio
Best. Contestant. Ever. The original Karate Kid? My vote all the way. The only thing more epic than Ralph Macchio on Dancing with the Stars are the team names that the fantasy league is going to come up with.
Petra Nemcova
Here's what I know about her: She's a model. She dated James Blunt aka "You're Beautiful" guy. She survived the tsunami in Thailand by hanging onto a palm tree for eight hours. She couldn't be at the live reveal tonight because she was speaking to the UN. None of those things is a joke. Not even the last one.
Kendra Wilkinson
Kendra is the most relevant and legit celebrity on the show this year. That does not bode well for Dancing with the Stars. If Ralph Macchio loses (but honestly how could he?) I vote for her.
Hines Ward
Wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steeler. I guess losing the Super Bowl has left him either in an extreme state of depression or so desperate to win SOMEthing that he will even take a mirror ball trophy. Either way, his face basically said "What the HELL did I just get myself into?" when he walked out onto the stage.
Mike Catherwood
Co-hosts "Love Line". Never listened to it, vaguely know what it even is, not a single clue. But he's hot.
Wendy Williams
I know Wendy Williams because Joel McHale makes fun of her all the time on The Soup. Observe:
That is going to get really old really fast.
Chris Jericho
Former WWE wrestler who is pretty hot now that he cut his super long blonde hair. Observe the BEFORE and AFTER.
Kirstie Alley
In the "press conference" following the announcement (I can't even make that up), somebody asked Kirstie Alley why she's on the show. She passed. Here's what she wanted to say: Jenny Craig fired me for gaining like 300 pounds so this is my last ditch effort to try and lose weight. Mean? Maybe. True? Probably. Entertaining? Not in the least.
And just when you think it couldn't get any more boring...
Brooke Burke is back.
Good luck Tom Bergeron. You're gonna need it.
2.13.2011
Live Bloggin the Grammys!
Even thought it's 8 p.m. and everyone on the East Coast has already seen the Grammies and has blown up Twitter with the results so I pretty much know everything, it's time for another live blog! My golf recap is written, the wine is poured, spaghetti is boiling... let's go!
First a text exchange between me and my sister:
My sister: If Katy Perry wins a Grammy tonight I'm boycotting radio.
Me: If Justin Bieber fever wins, me too.
So right out of the gate you know where my sister and I stand on who should not win tonight.
8:01 - We are opening with a tribute to Aretha Franklin and the first person out onto the stage is... LL Cool J? He and his Kangol hat are yelling about how awesome Aretha Franklin is. Wow, Mr. Cool J please stop yelling at me.
8:03 - Maybe if the National Anthem was an Aretha Franklin jam Christina Aguilera would have sang it better and not forget the words. Hey ooooo
8:04 - Why is Christina Aguilera leading this tribute when JENNIFER HUDSON is standing right next to her? I would rather see her and her bangin Jenny Craig body sing these songs 100 times over.
8:05 - Oh good they're all taking turns. J Hud was just clapping for Christina Aguilera's performance but she totally had a look in her eye like "Ha! Just wait til I get the mic."
8:06 - Ok so Yolanda Adams (gospel singer), Martina McBride (country diva with a giant voice), Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson and... Florence from Florence and the Machine?
8:15 - Jennifer Hudson wins the diva off.
8:25 - Oh my God Ricky Martin is wearing jeggings. Oh and he's introducing Gaga so that's fitting. Very, very tight fitting.
8:26 - Alright, here she comes to perform her brand new song. Which isn't exactly a surprise anymore because she released it Friday and it got slammed for sounding like Madonna's "Express Yourself".
8:31 - Wow. I couldn't even type anything. I was pretty transfixed by that. Here are my thoughts:
- GREAT performance. Her voice is super legit and she just sang and didn't do anything weird and I liked that.
- Did you see this egg on the red carpet thing? Yes THIS is how she entered. I also discussed this with my sister. She is fascinated but thinks that people are getting tired of her and frankly I could take it or leave it. One of these days she should just wear a dress and walk like a normal person on the red carpet and then people would really flip out.
- I feel bad that she is very very proud of this song and it has such a great message and yet people are more concerned about the fact that ::gasp:: it sounds like this other one from 25 years ago.
- I still can't believe she wore a dress made out of meat.
8:37 - How CUTE is Blake Shelton introducing Miranda Lambert? She looks amazing while she performs this song.
8:42 - Lenny Kravitz is still relevant enough to present at the Grammys? I think he and Ricky Martin went shopping for Grammy jeggings together...
8:43 - Another performance. I made this same complaint last year I think but I'm 40 minutes into my DVR recording and there's only been one actual award given out.
8:45 - My boy Seacrest is introducing Bruno Mars, B-O-B and a girl I've never heard of. B-O-B is wearing a freakin monocle you guys. Like the monopoly man. That's how you know you've made it. Also, I thought Bruno Mars got busted for cocaine possession? Meh, come perform at the Grammys anyway bro. That too is a sign that you've made it.
8:48 - Either my TV is really really that old and terrible or they just switched to a black and white telecast. There really is a 50-50 chance that it's my TV...
8:49 - I like the idea of a Motowny rendition of the "I'll catch a grenade for you" song but wow his voice is really bad and that song is terrible to begin with.
8:50 - Oh what? An actual award? Oh that is why we're here isn't it. Best Country Female Vocal is up now. Miranda Lambert wins.
8:57 - Uh ooooooh. Bieber Fever is about to hit the Grammys! Somehow Justin Bieber got to perform for Usher in 2007 and now he's international. And now they're singing a duet on the Grammys.
9:01 - Usher. What are you doing man? Performing with the Biebs and Will Smith's kid? But thank you for actually singing which is something your boy Bieber didn't feel he needed to do on the Grammys.
9:05 - Here's the thing about Justin Bieber. I saw him on Ellen and I was starting to buy into it a little. I had like a Bieber stuffed up nose if you will. Not quite the fever is what I'm getting at. Anyway, he's very humble, very well composed, very well spoken and very gracious for a 16 year old in the business. Miley Cyrus I'm looking at you. He plays the drums really well and also plays guitar and keyboard - he's legit talented. And then he lip synched on the Grammy awards. So close JB. We were so close.
9:09 - Donny Wahlberg is presenting with Selena Gomez. I guarantee you Selena Gomez has no idea she's standing next to a member of the greatest band of all time NKOTB.
9:10 - Lady Gaga wins Best Pop Vocal Album over Bieber, Katy Perry and - ouch - John Mayer. She seems legitimately shocked and thankful so good for her. Also she thanked Whitney Houston and I'm fine with that because no matter what you say about Whitney, she was a diva and I wanted to be her when I was in the fifth grade.
9:14 - Didn't need the Letterman Top 10. That could have cut out like 5 minutes of this THREE AND A HALF HOUR SHOW.
9:14 - Bob Dylan is performing with two groups I've never heard of. This first group is Mumford and Sons and they are like angry bluegrass rock or something. There's a banjo and a cello but they're talking about a noose around their neck and their growing fears and headbanging. The moral of the story: the lead singer is smoking hot.
9:22 - Lady Antebellum is performing now. Apparently they've already won two awards tonight. Why didn't we see any of that? I'm annoyed.
9:26 - Oooh an award finally. Best Country Album goes to Lady Antebellum. They are pretty awesome.
9:29 - Cee-Lo Green and Gwyneth Paltrow are performing together. Wow. Get Gwyneth Paltrow on one episode of Glee and next thing you know...
9:29 - I can't even explain Cee Lo Green's outfit right now. Gaga has some competition.
9:32 - Gwyneth Paltrow is in a SERIOUS outfit right now. Basically a black unitard cut super low in front with some 8-inch stilletos. How do these women pull off these heels!?
9:35 - NPH introduces Katy Perry. I follow him on Twitter and would rather listen to him talk for 3 minutes and make jokes than hear Katy Perry sing.
9:37 - Are those her wedding pictures? Lord.
9:39 - I want a sparkly microphone for when I sing the anthem at the UC Davis women's hoops game in a few weeks.
9:43 - Song of the Year is up next and Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" wins again!
9:46 - Seth Rogen just introduced Eminem. There's some kind of irony or something in there somewhere.
9:52 - Wow THAT was sick. Performance of the night for sure. Go Youtube that if you didn't watch it: Eminem, Rihanna, Dr. Dre. That was amazing.
9:54 - Best New Artist is up next aaaand someone I've never heard of just won it. Esperanza Spalding? Not a clue but her speech was good.
9:56 - Mick Jagger has never performed at the Grammys? He's like 103.
10:01 - Mick Jagger's performance came immediately after the In Memoriam tribute slideshow. Interesting juxtaposition there CBS.
10:03 - I'm losing interest and fast forwarding and there is still like 45 minutes left. Longest awards show ever.
10:07 - The incomparable Barbra Streisand just wowed the crowd with an amazing performance and next up is Nikki Minaj and Will I Am. Nikki Minaj is dressed like this:
I am ashamed of my generation.
10:11 - Why is Rihanna performing AGAIN? Honestly did we need all of these performances? Drake is super hot though so I'll watch.
10:16 - Record of the Year is up now. J Lo and Marc Anthony just bickered their way through presenting and the Grammy goes to Lady Antebellum AGAIN! Wow this is quite the surprise.
10:18 - Okay I am giving up. I already know who one Album of the Year thanks to Twitter. This post is getting boring, the cat is getting to be a maniac. It's time to wrap things up. Hope you all enjoyed the live blog.
The Oscars are coming!
First a text exchange between me and my sister:
My sister: If Katy Perry wins a Grammy tonight I'm boycotting radio.
Me: If Justin Bieber fever wins, me too.
So right out of the gate you know where my sister and I stand on who should not win tonight.
8:01 - We are opening with a tribute to Aretha Franklin and the first person out onto the stage is... LL Cool J? He and his Kangol hat are yelling about how awesome Aretha Franklin is. Wow, Mr. Cool J please stop yelling at me.
8:03 - Maybe if the National Anthem was an Aretha Franklin jam Christina Aguilera would have sang it better and not forget the words. Hey ooooo
8:04 - Why is Christina Aguilera leading this tribute when JENNIFER HUDSON is standing right next to her? I would rather see her and her bangin Jenny Craig body sing these songs 100 times over.
8:05 - Oh good they're all taking turns. J Hud was just clapping for Christina Aguilera's performance but she totally had a look in her eye like "Ha! Just wait til I get the mic."
8:06 - Ok so Yolanda Adams (gospel singer), Martina McBride (country diva with a giant voice), Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson and... Florence from Florence and the Machine?
8:15 - Jennifer Hudson wins the diva off.
8:25 - Oh my God Ricky Martin is wearing jeggings. Oh and he's introducing Gaga so that's fitting. Very, very tight fitting.
8:26 - Alright, here she comes to perform her brand new song. Which isn't exactly a surprise anymore because she released it Friday and it got slammed for sounding like Madonna's "Express Yourself".
8:31 - Wow. I couldn't even type anything. I was pretty transfixed by that. Here are my thoughts:
- GREAT performance. Her voice is super legit and she just sang and didn't do anything weird and I liked that.
- Did you see this egg on the red carpet thing? Yes THIS is how she entered. I also discussed this with my sister. She is fascinated but thinks that people are getting tired of her and frankly I could take it or leave it. One of these days she should just wear a dress and walk like a normal person on the red carpet and then people would really flip out.
- I feel bad that she is very very proud of this song and it has such a great message and yet people are more concerned about the fact that ::gasp:: it sounds like this other one from 25 years ago.
- I still can't believe she wore a dress made out of meat.
8:37 - How CUTE is Blake Shelton introducing Miranda Lambert? She looks amazing while she performs this song.
8:42 - Lenny Kravitz is still relevant enough to present at the Grammys? I think he and Ricky Martin went shopping for Grammy jeggings together...
8:43 - Another performance. I made this same complaint last year I think but I'm 40 minutes into my DVR recording and there's only been one actual award given out.
8:45 - My boy Seacrest is introducing Bruno Mars, B-O-B and a girl I've never heard of. B-O-B is wearing a freakin monocle you guys. Like the monopoly man. That's how you know you've made it. Also, I thought Bruno Mars got busted for cocaine possession? Meh, come perform at the Grammys anyway bro. That too is a sign that you've made it.
8:48 - Either my TV is really really that old and terrible or they just switched to a black and white telecast. There really is a 50-50 chance that it's my TV...
 |
| Yep. This is my TV. Contain your jealousy. |
8:50 - Oh what? An actual award? Oh that is why we're here isn't it. Best Country Female Vocal is up now. Miranda Lambert wins.
8:57 - Uh ooooooh. Bieber Fever is about to hit the Grammys! Somehow Justin Bieber got to perform for Usher in 2007 and now he's international. And now they're singing a duet on the Grammys.
9:01 - Usher. What are you doing man? Performing with the Biebs and Will Smith's kid? But thank you for actually singing which is something your boy Bieber didn't feel he needed to do on the Grammys.
9:05 - Here's the thing about Justin Bieber. I saw him on Ellen and I was starting to buy into it a little. I had like a Bieber stuffed up nose if you will. Not quite the fever is what I'm getting at. Anyway, he's very humble, very well composed, very well spoken and very gracious for a 16 year old in the business. Miley Cyrus I'm looking at you. He plays the drums really well and also plays guitar and keyboard - he's legit talented. And then he lip synched on the Grammy awards. So close JB. We were so close.
9:09 - Donny Wahlberg is presenting with Selena Gomez. I guarantee you Selena Gomez has no idea she's standing next to a member of the greatest band of all time NKOTB.
9:10 - Lady Gaga wins Best Pop Vocal Album over Bieber, Katy Perry and - ouch - John Mayer. She seems legitimately shocked and thankful so good for her. Also she thanked Whitney Houston and I'm fine with that because no matter what you say about Whitney, she was a diva and I wanted to be her when I was in the fifth grade.
9:14 - Didn't need the Letterman Top 10. That could have cut out like 5 minutes of this THREE AND A HALF HOUR SHOW.
9:14 - Bob Dylan is performing with two groups I've never heard of. This first group is Mumford and Sons and they are like angry bluegrass rock or something. There's a banjo and a cello but they're talking about a noose around their neck and their growing fears and headbanging. The moral of the story: the lead singer is smoking hot.
9:22 - Lady Antebellum is performing now. Apparently they've already won two awards tonight. Why didn't we see any of that? I'm annoyed.
9:26 - Oooh an award finally. Best Country Album goes to Lady Antebellum. They are pretty awesome.
9:29 - Cee-Lo Green and Gwyneth Paltrow are performing together. Wow. Get Gwyneth Paltrow on one episode of Glee and next thing you know...
9:29 - I can't even explain Cee Lo Green's outfit right now. Gaga has some competition.
9:32 - Gwyneth Paltrow is in a SERIOUS outfit right now. Basically a black unitard cut super low in front with some 8-inch stilletos. How do these women pull off these heels!?
9:35 - NPH introduces Katy Perry. I follow him on Twitter and would rather listen to him talk for 3 minutes and make jokes than hear Katy Perry sing.
9:37 - Are those her wedding pictures? Lord.
9:39 - I want a sparkly microphone for when I sing the anthem at the UC Davis women's hoops game in a few weeks.
9:43 - Song of the Year is up next and Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" wins again!
9:46 - Seth Rogen just introduced Eminem. There's some kind of irony or something in there somewhere.
9:52 - Wow THAT was sick. Performance of the night for sure. Go Youtube that if you didn't watch it: Eminem, Rihanna, Dr. Dre. That was amazing.
9:54 - Best New Artist is up next aaaand someone I've never heard of just won it. Esperanza Spalding? Not a clue but her speech was good.
9:56 - Mick Jagger has never performed at the Grammys? He's like 103.
10:01 - Mick Jagger's performance came immediately after the In Memoriam tribute slideshow. Interesting juxtaposition there CBS.
10:03 - I'm losing interest and fast forwarding and there is still like 45 minutes left. Longest awards show ever.
10:07 - The incomparable Barbra Streisand just wowed the crowd with an amazing performance and next up is Nikki Minaj and Will I Am. Nikki Minaj is dressed like this:
I am ashamed of my generation.
10:11 - Why is Rihanna performing AGAIN? Honestly did we need all of these performances? Drake is super hot though so I'll watch.
10:16 - Record of the Year is up now. J Lo and Marc Anthony just bickered their way through presenting and the Grammy goes to Lady Antebellum AGAIN! Wow this is quite the surprise.
10:18 - Okay I am giving up. I already know who one Album of the Year thanks to Twitter. This post is getting boring, the cat is getting to be a maniac. It's time to wrap things up. Hope you all enjoyed the live blog.
The Oscars are coming!
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