1.12.2010

Triple R American Idol Edition

Not really but because tonight is the season premiere, everything is American Idol edition today.

Scandal on the Bachelor...
...and we're only two weeks in. Apparently one of the women who is competing for Jake the Pilot's love on The Bachelor 41 (okay it's not really the 41st season but still the show has been around FOREVER) couldn't wait to see if she got a one-on-one date and had some one-on-one time of her own with a show's producer. Before the show even went on the air. She got kicked off the show and the producer got fired and now she's speaking out and he's speaking out and the guy who "hosts" The Bachelor is speaking out. It's a speaking out bonanza.

Okay I really don't get what the big deal is with this. The guy who hosts said they had to bring in psychologists and counselors and all of these people to help Jake deal with this news. Jake the pilot has known her for two weeks! He feels that he has been cheated on and that he was so incredibly hurt by this. Oh but then he remembered that he had 14 other women literally throwing themselves at him so that helped him to get through this terrible incident. I'm sorry but if he considers what she did cheating, then what exactly is he doing with the 14 women who are competing for him? And maybe this also makes me a terrible person but I don't really blame the woman. If I had to sit around and wait while Jake the pilot decided whether or not I was good enough to go on a ridiculous fantasy date with him, I'd get bored and annoyed with the other girls and go find someone who knew what he wanted too. I think I'm just really over The Bachelor. Can you tell?

Jackpot
I really hope this story is true. Because even though I know I have zero chance ever with Justin Timberlake, it's always nicer knowing he's single. Jessica Biel is for some reason climbing Mt. Kilamanjaro while Justin is partying in Wyoming. There were rumors about this sometime last year so we'll see if it holds true.

A Royal Wedding?
Is Prince William finally going to marry his plain Jane (sorry but she is) girlfriend of eight years? Sources say that the Queen has told him she wants a princess by his side when she celebrates 60 years on the throne in 2012. A princess. Man why can't I be a princess? I would be so good at it. I'm very nice and I love to chat and I don't mind trying weird food. I feel these are all great qualities of being a princess. And I really like England. Also I speak Spanish and that should come in handy right? Where do I send my resume?

Another One Bites the Dust...
Looks like another high profile celeb is being hit by an angry mistress. Apparently Shaq has been having a 5-year affair with this woman and she thought she was pregnant with his kid but now she's taking him to court for "harassing" her. What's the harrassment? He pretty much told her he didn't think it was his. I'm just getting a little tired of these women putting themselves in these situations. And also these celebrities. Come on Shaq. I don't have the energy these days to write a 2-part series about you. It does surprise me though that Shaq would do something like this. Maybe I'm just that naive about superstars like this but I didn't really see this coming. Then again, who saw Tiger's whole little predicament coming either?

Until next week...

This. Is American Idol.

It's back.

Tonight the ninth season of American Idol returns and I've already got my t-shirt on.

But today we're not talking about how hard it's going to be to top last season or how Ellen is going to do as a judge (she won't even be on the show until mid-February anyway). Today we're talking about a very interestingly timed announcement by everyone's favorite British grump.

This. Is Simon's last season.

::gasp:: Say it ain't so!

The X Factor, a show that Simon created, produced and judges on in England, is coming to America so Simon has decided to leave Idol to be on The X Factor. He said he is ready for a new challenge and is ready to do something different.

Well i don't exactly know how being on an American version of a show that is already hugely successful in England is much of a big challenge, but I do know that Idol is about to find themselves to be very challenged when it comes to finding his replacement.

Simon is what makes American Idol so popular (as much as Seacrest probably hates to admit). How would we sit through the audition rounds listening to all of the wannabes without Simon's jabs to go along with them? How will we know which contestant to really respect and listen to without Simon's opinion? Because despite the fact of having three other judges, it's always been Simon for some reason who has established himself as the lead judge and the one who really knows what he's talking about.

So who could possibly replace Simon? Should it be someone who's just as sarcastic and brutally honest as he is? Should it be another Englishman?

I don't think so. Why would you replace the original with a probably not very good imitation? It's also time for Idol to get with the times a little bit. As far as her credits go, Kara's got a good resume even though she's annoying because the artists she's worked with and written for are actually relevant today. Which also means that you can't pick another songwriter really because that's her gig. You need someone who's going to be pretty honest, maybe not as mean, but someone who's going to give it to the people straight because at the end of the day, that's what Simon did.

So here are a few suggestions:

1. Pharrell. He's a producer and recording artist and he's collaborated with some of the biggest and, more importantly, longest-lasting names in the music business. Justin Timberlake, Shakira, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears - you've heard of them? Pharrell has had a hand in their success, either by himself or with his buddy Chad Hugo as part of The Neptunes (totally got that off of Wikipedia). He knows what's popular now and he knows what people want to hear.

2. Timbaland. Another big name in the world of producing, Timbaland has worked with Missy Elliott, Justin Timberlake, Shakira, Madonna, 50 Cent, Jay-Z and more. He still records and collaborates and his songs are major hits. "Apologize" and "The Way I Are" both come to mind. He'd be a popular choice again for being current and knowing what makes a star.

3. Joey Fatone from *N SYNC. He's likable and obviously knows what it takes to be a mainstay in the industry. Potential problems with him sugar coating his opinions but he's proven to be good on camera and I think it could work.

4. Nobody. You keep the three current judges and go back to that format. I think this all depends on how Ellen does as a judge.

5. A rotating door of guest judges. They're doing it with the audition process and I think it's a great idea. They've found current, relevant artists to give their critique like Mary J. Blige, Victoria Beckham, and one of the Jo Bros. But I think the key is definitely to stay with current people. I mean, remember when Meatloaf performed on the show? Yeah nobody was too thrilled with that.

These are some very preliminary thoughts but you can bet I'll be following this closely. It's going to be interesting to see how this plays out. Good luck Idol. I think you're going to need it.

1.07.2010

Super Short Video of the Day 1/7

Just a quick one to keep everyone entertained.

1.06.2010

Video of the Day 1/6/10

It might be the new year, but Mariah Carey's stiiiiiiiill crazy...

1.05.2010

Triple R 2010 Edition

New year, same ridiculous celebrity relationship news. Let's go!

Vince Vaughn Ties the Knot
Congrats to Vince Vaughn who got married over the weekend. Seriously good for him. I think people expected him to be the Swingers guy his whole life and I'm glad that he's decided to shed that jokester image a bit and settle down. And she's just a normal girl which I think suits him way more. I just didn't get the Jennifer Aniston thing. I mean he's Vince Vaughn and she's... well, she's Jennifer Aniston. She married Brad Pitt for crying out loud. And I'm sure they were very happy together but at the end of the day, it just didn't seem to be quite his style. And to be honest, I think it's interesting that you never heard about him in the media until he dated her and you haven't really heard from him since. He's just a regular dude at the end of the day so I'm glad he found a regular girl to complement him.

Casey Who?
You might have heard some recent news that a woman by the name of Casey Johnson has passed away. Who? She is the heiress of Johnson & Johnson, like the baby shampoo company, and her dad owns the Jets. Apparently she is also BFF with Paris and Nicky Hilton. But beside it just being a sad story (she was only 30 and she leaves behind an adopted daughter), why are we including it in this week's Triple R? Because apparently she was engaged to Tila Tequila. Which means that Tila Tequila has found yet another way to remain relevant. If you're not sure who Tila Tequila is, you're not missing much. She's basically famous for nothing (what else is new these days). She had a terrible show on MTV called A Shot at Love. Get it? Shot? Tequila? Like a tequila shot. She is apparently bisexual so it was a contest for guys and girls to win her heart. That failed. Literally the show was so bad even I couldn't watch it and I watch The Hills so you know my standards aren't very high. Then apparently Shawn Merriman tried to hit her. Now apparently she was engaged to this woman who just passed away. She announced it on her Twitter, then retracted it, but now is asking everyone to pray for her wifey. This is the same woman who also announced she was pregnant with her brother's baby because she was going to be a surrogate for him. Which is questionable in and of itself but then she retracts that too! So the moral of the story is: it's a shame that this poor woman has to be part of the Tila Tequila camp. And maybe they really were engaged and blissfully in love and if that is the case, then that's awesome. But history has shown that Tila Tequila hasn't always had the best track record when it comes to oh telling the truth.

How is Rosie O'Donnell Still in the News?
So Rosie O'Donnell apparently has a new girlfriend. I'm sorry if I'm a little fuzzy on the details of her previous relationship or why that fell through but I also thought that Rosie O'Donnell stopped being relevant like 15 years ago. Seriously, I can remember being in like the 6th grade and her talk show being on and then suddenly it wasn't on anymore. So then what happened to her? So she joined The View where she did what she does best: be loud and obnoxious. Then she started picking on poor little Elisabeth Hasslebeck and they had such a giant fight over the war or gay marriage or something that they had a huge falling out and Rosie left the show or maybe Barbara Walters kicked her off. So then what happened? She just started getting angry at everyone. She got angry at Donald Trump and was still angry at Elisabeth Hasslebeck and was probably angry at Barbara Walters too. So I thought well maybe things have changed when I noticed that she has a show on satellite radio. So I decided to tune in for five seconds.

Nope, she is still terrible. She sits on her show and gives her opinions about the war in Iraq and why we shouldn't call people terrorists and has suddenly become some political expert. When did this happen? And I understand that her giving her opinions isn't much different from me giving mine on this blog. But come on. I just don't really get how Rosie O'Donnell suddenly became the go-to for all of the latest political drama. Feel free to explain this to me, anyone. Really.

Okay We Get It. She's Engaged.
Carrie Underwood got engaged over Christmas and I think I mentioned that I was very happy for her. Now after reading this article I'm not so sure. If I have to read every scathing detail of what she's eating and not eating and what china patterns she's picking out, this is going to get really old really fast. This story is just irritating.

Speaking of Engaged...
Katy Perry (she sings "Waking Up in Vegas" and "Hot and Cold") and Russell Brand (the rockstar sex addict guy in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall") are engaged after dating for about three months. Hmmm. Stuff like that always sounds a bit sketchy but she's kind of weird and so is he so maybe they'll be happy. I predict that they get married in like Japan or something on a whim in a ceremony that combines traditions from India, Asia, and who knows where else.

Rihanna Moves On
Well look at Rihanna go. This is where I talk about girl power and how she's overcome her obstacles and all that. So go ahead and imagine what I would say. I'll wait.

The only thing of any real interest to me is that Rihanna and Matt Kemp went to The Grove together. My parents' house is like 15 minutes from The Grove. Why don't I ever see these celebrities at places like The Grove or Third Street Promenade or on the pier? I LOVE celebrities. Is one celeb sighting so much to ask?

1.04.2010

Things I Think Are Stupid

So today I had a very unfortunate happening at the gym which made me realize that there are two things that I think are really stupid. These things are the auto-faucets and auto-paper towel dispensers in public restrooms and people who don't pick up after their dog. And yes they will get tied together.

First the auto-faucets/auto-paper towel dispensers. Is this a germ thing or a let's try and save money thing? Neither one really makes sense if you think about it. If there is that big of a concern over germs then the door to the bathroom should be automatic too because for all of the oh don't touch the faucet handles! and the oh don't touch the paper towel handle! the second you put your hand on that door knob to exit the bathroom, you're touching who knows how much bacteria. Yep. I said it. Bacteria everywhere. So what's the point. Plus if you're trying to save money, what do you think is going to happen? Do you think I'm just going to run through and turn on all the faucets and get nuts? Am I going to just pump out paper towels and throw them everywhere? Maybe make myself a paper towel dress? The answer is no. I'm pretty sure that most adults can handle turning the faucets on and off and taking the appropriate amount of paper towels.

Furthermore, these piece of shit machines don't work. This was my completely frustrating experience tonight. You wave your hand in front of what you think is the sensor and nothing happens. So you move your hand up and down. Nothing. You take your hand away, you put it back, you wave it frantically from side to side. It. Doesn't. Work. So now you look ridiculous and it is infuriating. Then you move to the next sink or tower dispenser only to see someone walk right up and suddenly the water is just flowing like a river and paper towels are literally throwing themselves at this person. Terrible.

Plus, I don't like that these machines will tell me how much water and paper towels I'm allowed to have. I am a pretty girl and I will decide for myself how much water I need and how many paper towels I would like.

Next. If you are not willing to fully carry out all of the responsibilities that come with owning a pet, you should not own a pet. This includes picking up after your dog when he's on a walk. I do not own a dog for this reason. I don't like smelly things so I know that I would not be a good dog owner. My cat goes in a box and that's that. So why should I be penalized because someone else is too lazy or thinks it's gross or comes up with some other excuse to just leave it lying on the ground. That is not fair to the rest of us who are just trying to walk or get out of our car or go throw out the trash. Because you know what happens? We step in it. I bet if you did a study, it would show that more people who don't own dogs step in poop than do people who do own dogs. It's like a terrible karmic rule or Newton's Law of Owning a Dog or something.

So the grand question is how in the world do these things tie together?

So I get to the gym today and I'm changing in the little room and I realize that something is kind of smelly and sure enough I look and I have poop on my shoe. Yep. Don't know where it came from or when I stepped in it but there it is. Gross. So so gross. So with only one shoe on I'm trying to find a locker while holding my poop shoe. So now I try to clean it off because I want to go to my class and not just leave you know? So this is when I try to get a couple of paper towels. Epic fail. See above for my frustrations. Then I try to take the two measly paper towels they give me and run some water on them and no water will come out. I tried THREE faucets. It was a disaster. So I finally got most of the poop off my shoe and went to my class but the whole time I was paranoid that my shoe was still smelly and that people knew what had happened. I laugh about it now but at the time I was not amused. Trust me.

Oh Snap! Back with Video

OMG I'm back.

A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone. I've been on vacation from work for the past two weeks so I guess that also translated into a vacation from anything remotely requiring energy or thought...including blogging. So my bad but I'm sure you understand.

I'm going to try to do a quick recap of the highlights of my vacation either tonight or tomorrow because there were some pretty epic moments. But for now, enjoy the first Video of the Day of 2010.

Fricken Adam Morrison. He's even a d-bag when it comes to high fives:



Yep, right at about 18 seconds, he freakin swoops in and breaks up a high five between two Dallas players. Tool.

My favorite part might be Phil Jackson's face afterwards. It more or less says "OMG why is he such a rihtard."